the restless heart

I'm in the library right now, studying and memorizing terms for my upcoming anatomy exam.  I'm seated at this table with the perfect view of the water fountain, which the campus turns on during the day 'til perhaps around 5 pm.

Just a few moments ago, I looked up from conducting a Google search on the gluteal muscles attached to the lateral surface of the ilium bone (yes, I like this stuff) when I saw a man taking pictures of two children.

The first thought that popped in my head was "Where is their mother?"
As I now see, the children are his.

I feel a tad ashamed.  But in the times we live in today, we really just can't tell who's who.  The best advice that came from one of JK Rowling's Harry Potter villains is "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

But this vigilance can come with a price.

I love this movie.  When I first purchased it, I must've watched it at least 10 times.  I'm grateful that it introduced me to Pope's "Eloisa to Abelard" and with time, I was able to understand its story better.

I was watching a romantic movie tonight and I had a sudden epiphany.

When the girl walks out the door, the guy running after her never happens in real life.

ETA: Another note to myself - Don't look for someone who isn't looking for you.

Just a brief summary for those who are feeling safe and snug in Vox, away from the craziness that is happening in a considerable region of the internet series of tubes.

Over at LJ land, the servers are experiencing a meltdown as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release approaches.  A reported 3 leaks have been released and out of these, 2 of them are matching word for word.  Several communities have been established to celebrate the release and to debunk the leaks and... well, basically, to cry tears of joy or sorrow.

Scholastic has subpoena-ed Gaia Online to release details on one of its users who posted a leak.  Gaia fully cooperated.

Baltimore Sun released the stupidest book review released in the history of my generation.  I've never seen such a spoiler-rich review written in my life, but then again, my comprehension of said article is colored by bias and my question will reveal why I think this review is... well, shit.  I won't link to that article because I respect those who don't want to read anything about Harry Potter 'til the book comes out, but it should be easy enough to find for those who are determined to read it.

Results: BATSHITTERY.  Complete and utter batshit insanity by the fans, both the ones who "lost" and the "self-righteous".  Have I read any of these spoilers?  Yes.

Will that keep me from getting my copy of HP 7?  No way. I'll be there, waiting and eager.

If these spoilers that I've read and a couple of others turn out to be correct... wow.  What a good read.

Opinions are, of course, subjective.  I like the character romance relationships, but I never really focused on that.  I've always found Harry Potter as an exhilarating read because it appealed to the imaginative child reader in me.  The Forbidden Forest is a place that I would love to visit, even in just dreams.  Jo may have borrowed so many elements from other literature and is a mediocre writer, but she's a thumpin' good storyteller.

Note:  the spoilers that I've read is the supposed pictures of the book itself.  I don't have a copy of the book, it was not mistakenly mailed to me in advance, and yes, I still harbor doubts that what I've read is legitimate.  The way Scholastic, Bloomsbury, and Jo have reacted, however, is helping drive away many of those doubts.  If the pictures turn out to be a hoax, I'll have a good laugh and recommend that the person (people) behind this most elaborate hoax consider a career in writing.

i. i knew it

 

Do you have a sixth sense?  How do you experience it?

Yes.  I have sixth sense.  My sixth sense manifests in different ways.  There is no set way of how this sixth sense comes about.  It's just there.  It's visceral.  I learned how to keep it to myself when I get one and when it comes true.  When it comes true, it creeps me out.  My sixth sense is about coincidence.  It's often inaccurate but when it is accurate, the outcome is... dead-on.  It's made me laugh.  It's made me cry.  My sixth sense has broken my heart and has given me hope.

Everyone has a sixth sense.  Everyone.  They either acknowledge it openly or keep it to themselves or do not realise that those thoughts that they randomly receive are a manifestation of their sixth sense.  The sixth sense is inherent in all of us.  I'm fascinated with how attuned a mother's sixth sense is when it comes to her child/children.  She just knows.  I'm pretty sure scientists already have something to explain "just knowing" - being hardwired into our brains or whatever - but there's no exact way of accurately measuring this sixth sense quantitatively.  There is no way to measure this sixth sense in a manner that will satisfy the scientific mind and the mind that just accepts things as they are.

ii. wrinkles (rich in pronouns and ambiguity)

I want to have some control over this, but I don't.  She tried to smooth it out with those figures who are supposed to be responsible, but all I could think about are them.  Young minds are impressionable.  They don't say anything; they don't say how it bothers them, but it has happened to all of us and we know how it feels.

I remember when it broke.  They were too young to remember, but maybe not too young.  I will never ask them.  But I remember.  And I remember how I reacted.  And I remember asking why good people do such things.  And I remember asking why he doesn't do those things.  With age comes wisdom; there was a certain point when I stood, facing that memory when another incident incurred remembrance, and I remembered thanking God that he isn't like that at all.  No, not at all.

But I have reached some conclusions.  As grown up as we think we are and we're supposed to be, we will never grow up completely.  We have just as much capacity to hurt as to love.  Trust is hard to re-establish.

Boys and girls are dogs.   They will always be dogs to each other no matter what.

You will never be good at math.

"It was right under my nose!" is the story of your life.

Calculus professors are understated heroes.

Get your act together.

When was the last time you had to speak in front of a group?  How did you feel?

One of my pre-requisite classes is public speaking and if I remember correctly, I had to give speeches every 2-3 weeks, depending on when my teacher's assistant scheduled my group.  I was nervous.  Every single time.  I never figured out why, either.  A friend of mine was in her high school's debate team all four years and she gave me tips and different ways to look at the situation, but nothing worked.

"I find it so weird," she told me one day, "that despite your outgoing personality, you're afraid to talk in front of people."

I shrugged sheepishly, not quite knowing what to say to her.  "Well, let's put it this way.  As much as I can be an extrovert, I'm more of an introvert.  And I wish the latter wouldn't come out during my speeches."  And it's different when one is talking to a singleton person as opposed to a roomful of people.

I did better than I expected in the class, though.  It really was one of those classes that people would truly have to work hard to fail and some people did.  The ironic thing was, I did better on my speeches than on my written exams, final not included. It's kind of disappointing, really, that I could have done better if I applied myself more, but we're all smarter when we look back on things.

I have a rant, but I'm not posting it here.  Let's just say it has to do with whiny and egotistical high school students.  If you happen to be a high school student, don't be offended if you know it doesn't apply to you (and it probably doesn't).  If you are offended, then it probably applies to you (love yourself, man; love yourself and yourself be loved).  Question is, why do I feel like this is a legitimate statement I'm making?

Because I was once a whiny and egotistical high school student.  I have reflected upon it and I admit it: I was one bonafide bitch.  I still have my moments, though, but when I am, it's because I'm right.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not being arrogant; I'm being frank.  And when I'm being frank...  I offend people, I make some uncomfortable, but I'm still right. 

Gravity

Have I done recs before?

No.  Not on this site, at least.

Anyone know Vienna Teng?  If you don't, then you're in for a treat.  She has a very soft, smooth singing style that's very nice to listen to during a relaxing, pensive time.  Or maybe a gentle cruise to your destination.

As for this particular track, this version of "Gravity" is from one of her live performances that I bought from iTunes 15 seconds into the 30-second sample clip.  Words of praise will never do this song justice.  It truly is one of those songs that you'll just have to listen to.

So if you don't usually vibe with pianist/singers, just give her a try and pull away from the frenetic pace of your day into a mellow, laidback period with Ms. Teng.

Random fact: I'm super fond of her because she's a fellow geek.  Vienna graduated from Stanford University and majored in Comp Sci.  One funny story is that an engineer from Cisco Systems attended one of her performances and asked her to sign a router that she worked on while she was still with the company.  No joke.  I looked up the San Jose Mercury News article on Vienna and it is still available to the public at this time.  So if you want to see it, go ahead.  I think it'll be placed behind lock-and-password on August 26; the date is an assumption on my part because I've noticed that the standard freebie period lasts for a month.

Just a lot of love for everything right now and the optimist in me still believes that all we need is love.
Though reality shows otherwise.

Dat Phan is also known as the Asian guy who was in Last Comic Standing's first season.  I can't quote one of his most memorable math jokes in verbatim (though that contradicts the joke's memorability, doesn't it?), but I do remember the essence of that joke.

Asians are supposed to be very good at math.

This post is not to set the stage for the quote's viability.  I just used it to set this post's tone.

Because I'm questioning my brain.  My brain and I are mostly out of sync, you see, and when we're out of sync, my opinions just come flying out of my mouth and my tongue becomes sharp enough to cut through a boulder.

So brain... have you made up your "mind," yet?  Am I good at math or am I not?  I see the numbers and I understand it, but why is it that I can't remember it?

Would you rather remember Shakespeare's Hamlet?  Why can I still remember Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities when it's been 2 years since I last read it and math is something that I've been doing regularly?

That blows, brain.  That really blows.  If only my ancestors can speak from their graves, they'll bemoan at the irony that is me.  They probably mastered the abacus and yet, their 20th century descendant could quote from Homer.

This contradicts genetic heritability.  Do I not fit the Punnett square?  Are my math capabilities recessive genes?  Tell me, brain!  Tell me!

*this post brought to you by the impending sense of doom due to a rapidly approaching math final.  Thanks for reading.

Life at the university will start in T minus 18 days and I'm quite scared.

Fear of the unknown makes up the whole feeling.

I don't know what this year is going to bring.  I remember experiencing small triumphs, but bigger disappointments in freshman year.

I'm a pharmacy student who is only mediocre in the sciences.  I've been taking comfort in the knowledge that one of the pharmacists I work for fits my general academic profile: gifted in the subjects such as History, Literature, and other subjects related to the ones I just mentioned.  An acquaintance lives by this idiom: hardwork beats talent when talent does not work hard enough.

I wish I can honestly say this... uncertainty is an exaggeration of my restless mind.  It's not.  I suppose I'm clinging with my whole might to the thought that I'm facing a fear head on.  By the way, isn't that commercial sickening or what?

I'm also tired of the stereotypes pharmacists have.  No, we don't "just count pills all day."  If something shirty happens with the insurance, guess who's in the frontlines to take flack for it.  Pharmacists are.  You get something alien green growing on your feet, but you can't take it to the doctor's because the office is packed and your insurance quota for that period has been used up, guess who you take that abomination to and ask about how to get rid of it.  Pharmacists.

I can't change everyone's mind.  Ignorance is pervasive and indomitable that way.  But I sure as hell am going to try.

What brought about this post?  My roommate just moved in today.  She's a student athlete and all athletes need to be on campus for, I'm assuming but I'm also not entirely wrong to assume these things, conditioning and practice for the upcoming season.

I can't wait for our basketball season to start.  YES!

*ETA: Pharmacists here refers to the pharmacists we see most of the time, which is retail pharmacists.  Cleaned up some grammar.  Adding a rant: Facebook is "boo, you whore" status because I can only see it in its raw HTML form and not the clean Facebook we usually see.  I suppose they're doing maintenance, but I have faith that users are not going to troll them because they took down the site for a couple of hours to fix things.